Remember that time when the t mobile girl was really sweet
but then virgin mobile made fun of her
so t mobile stepped its shit up
it’s like high school drama except with phone companies
Have I ever told you guys about the time I almost crashed my car?
I know I haven’t, so gird your loins.
I was driving my friend home, and really nothing was going on so I sighed.
Only it wasn’t really the sigh I intended it to be.
Like, it wasn’t even remotely a sigh, it was full-on sex noise.
and not only did that surprise me, but obviously my friend who had no idea anything was even going to come out of my mouth let alone that.
So she was like
and I was like
and then she just
and it just got funnier and funnier and I was still trying to drive but we couldn’t stop laughing the most hurtful belly-laughs and yeah I almost lost control and crashed the car.
When all was said and done, though, she probably got home like
So, Kristen, I’m sorry if my unintentional sex noise scarred you for life.


















